This has been a weird fucking weekend…

I always seem to get myself into interesting situations. Sometimes, shit just happens and you look back and go, what the fuck, how did I get here? Not only did that happen literally this weekend (baaaaad blackout) but it happened with a certain situation. But first and foremost, lets have story time about my blackout.

Friday night I could not drink at all… waaah 😦 so I was sober as anything and had an all right time but generally people were annoying me. So saturday I was like, “yeaaaah lets throw down!!!” and drank WAY too much. I literally cannot remember anything from 1130pm-717am. Thats an entire night just gone from memory! But apparently I didn’t do anything too stupid, just puke my guts out… whoops. Lets just say I will not be drinking that much that fast EVER AGAIN.

Now on to my other situation, BUT FIRST READ THIS: So RJ who I though was pretty chill and boyfriend material balked at the commitment and left me forever alone 😦 so hence my “lets throw down” attitude for the weekend. Well a friends boyfriend had some of his friends visiting and one was REALLLLY cute so we were hanging out and making out and then I threw up so end of that story.

    Now this other situation is completely independent from all the other guy stories I have ranted and told on this blog.

     I have a friend Carter. And Carter and I have been fooling around. I have found yet another friends with benefits relationship. It’s like I’m a magnet! SO it started with me stressing the fuck out about school and shit and him having a really high sex drive and yeah…. we haven’t had sex but still we’ve been fooling around and just generally hanging out a lot.

 But there is a difference: he has a girlfriend. He’s had this girlfriend for six years.

       I’m not really sure how this is going to affect me in the long run. It’s almost like I’m experimenting with my own psychological feelings… But it’s just nice because we are there for each other as friends and we can talk to each other about stuff and idk….

Does that make me a horrible person?

Does it make me a horrible person when we are cuddling and watching a movie and I look over and he’s sexting his girlfriend?

This moral ambiguity is killing me….

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About tohelpmelive

Just trying to get through the early years of life without imploding, you know? I love theatre, nature, traveling, and learning new things
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