A New Experience

William and I have been hanging out a lot for the past three weeks maybe. We’ve been able to talk and learn a lot about one another and one thing I always knew, but never was around for, was his marijuana habit.

Now William likes to smoke weed, a lot. And I mean a lot, a lot. He can go through an eighth in a day I think he said? Thats a lot, at least from my meager understanding of drugs. See and thats the second facet to this wonderful gem, I am absolutely clueless when it comes to drugs. Sure I drink alcohol and while the potheads will argue that it is worse of a drug than weed, it’s not as illegal. But I am so clueless it’s not even funny. I never did anything in high school, not even drink. My friends and I were so straight edged you could use us as a razor for God’s sake. And so now that I am involved with someone who uses a TON, it puts me in a weird position.

Now to back track a bit this is by no means my first time being involved romantically or physically with a person who smokes. My last 4 relationships (of any kind) were with smokers of some degree whether it be occasionally or heavy use.

So this lifestyle is not necessarily new to me but it has never been opened up to me. The past guys kind of kept it hidden and never smoked around me. William, on the other hand, has no issues leaving me for 5 or 10 minutes to go smoke. And I’m not going to raise an issue with it either because he did that before I even knew him. I’m not his girlfriend, I’m not going to try and change him.

But it all started when he would leave and go smoke with his friends. Generally I took this as my cue to leave the house and I would. I would be on my merry way and he would be on his way to mary. But then I started to come over earlier in the night and stay the whole night so I couldn’t just pick up and leave. I would just wait and do my homework until he would come back.

Then one night we were the only ones awake and he wanted to smoke so he asked if I would sit with him because he doesn’t like to do it alone. So I went and sat next to him and watched him smoke. He offered a couple times but I declined. It never appealed to me. I mean I was always curious but it was never accessible really so I never tried it. Then  this past weekend William and his brothers went to go smoke and I didn’t want to be alone so I went with them just to sit again. They passed around a bong a bunch of times, offered it to me once in a while but I always declined.

Then the brothers left and it was just William and me. We were flirting and kissing in between him taking a hit and then he offered it to me again.

I said no and he just says “Why? I know you don’t want to but why?”

I said “It’s not something I want to start. I don’t want it to form a habit that I can’t pay for. I have to be careful because addiction runs in my family” and some other reasons.

He just says “I’m not going to pressure you but just try it. Just once. It’ll be something the two of us share, it’ll be nice” and then he kisses me softly and kisses my nose and it was a cute moment

So little straight edged me says yes.

And boy did I get high. It was actually a really cool experience because you perceive everything different. It kind of feels like when you are tired and dizzy at the same time but you can’t shake it off, but in a good way! It felt like a better version of being drunk. I was caught up in the textures of everything and the way my body felt. I remember just my body feeling really awesome and I couldn’t stop giggling. It was almost like someone was constantly tickling me, I was giggling so hard! It was a really cool experience and I am glad that I did it.

Now will I do it again is the pertinent question.

I honestly do not have an answer to that. I might I might not but I do not see myself doing this all the time. Personally, I don’t have time to get high all the time. Mostly because after maybe and hour or two, I don’t really remember, I passed the fuck out and slept for eight or nine hours straight. I was just out like a rock and slept. I did feel great the next morning but I can’t be doing that every night!

So I’m not really sure where weed fits in my future but I have a feeling it will always be there somewhere. At least for now while William is around 🙂

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About tohelpmelive

Just trying to get through the early years of life without imploding, you know? I love theatre, nature, traveling, and learning new things
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